The Rise of Ethical Non-Monogamy: What the Numbers Are Telling Us

Love doesn’t always fit in a box. And as more people explore relationship styles that go beyond the traditional one-partner model, ethical non-monogamy (ENM), open relationships, and polyamory are making their way into the mainstream conversation. But how common is it, really? Are people just curious, or are they living it?

We dug into the numbers—here’s what they reveal about modern love and the growing world of non-monogamy.

🌍 What Is Ethical Non-Monogamy?

Quick refresher! Ethical non-monogamy (ENM) is an umbrella term for relationships where people consensually engage in more than one romantic or sexual relationship at a time. The key word? Consent. Everyone involved knows and agrees to the relationship dynamic. ENM includes open relationships, polyamory, relationship anarchy, and other non-exclusive setups.

📈 So, How Common Is ENM?

🔹 1 in 3 People

A 2023 YouGov survey found that 34% of Americans describe their ideal relationship as something other than complete monogamy. That’s not exactly a niche group.

🔹 5% Currently Practice ENM

While 1 in 5 have tried it, about 4-5% of adults are currently in a consensual non-monogamous relationship, according to the same study. That might sound small, but it's on par with the number of people in the U.S. who identify as LGBTQ+ (before recent shifts in identity data).

👫 Open Relationships vs. Polyamory: What’s the Split?

ENM isn't one-size-fits-all. People have different preferences depending on how they define relationships, love, and commitment.

Open Relationships

• These often describe partnerships where one or both people agree to have romantic or sexual experiences outside the relationship.

• A 2020 YouGov survey found that about 12% of Americans say they’ve been in an open relationship at some point.

• Millennials and Gen Z are more open (pun intended), with younger generations expressing a higher willingness to explore this dynamic.

  
  

Polyamory

• Polyamory is about having multiple loving relationships at the same time, with everyone’s knowledge and consent.

• A 2022 study estimated that 1 in 9 Americans (11%) say they’ve engaged in polyamorous relationships.

• Polyamory tends to focus on deeper emotional connections beyond casual dating or hookups.

  
  

🧠 Who’s Exploring ENM?

• Age: Younger generations (Millennials and Gen Z) are much more likely to consider or practice ENM.

  • YouGov found 42% of Millennials say their ideal relationship is non-monogamous in some way.

• Sexual Orientation: ENM is more common among LGBTQ+ individuals.

  • A study from Archives of Sexual Behavior found that 30% of LGBTQ+ people reported being in a consensual non-monogamous relationship.

• Gender: While men report slightly higher interest in open relationships, polyamory often attracts people across the gender spectrum—especially among those interested in egalitarian relationship models.

  
  

🧭 Why Are More People Interested in ENM?

• Autonomy & Freedom: Many folks are drawn to relationship models that respect personal agency and freedom.

• Diverse Needs: One partner doesn’t have to be "everything" for someone. ENM offers the chance to fulfill different emotional and physical needs with different people.

• Honesty & Communication: Ethical non-monogamous relationships emphasize transparency, boundary-setting, and open communication.

• Community & Belonging: More communities, like Tabu, both online and offline, are creating spaces where ENM and poly folks can connect, reducing stigma and isolation.

  
  

🔮 The Future of Non-Monogamy

What was once whispered about is now out in the open. Mainstream media, books, podcasts, and dating apps are embracing ethical non-monogamy and polyamory as valid relationship styles. More people are learning how to navigate jealousy, set boundaries, and reimagine love on their terms.

As the cultural conversation shifts, we can expect these numbers to keep climbing. Love is evolving, and so are we.

💬 Thinking About Exploring ENM?

Whether you’re curious, experienced, or just starting to explore ethical non-monogamy, remember: it’s all about consent, communication, and care. There’s no “right” way to do relationships—just the way that works for you and your partners.

And if you’re looking for a community of like-minded people, well… you’re in the right place. Why not sign up and try it? 😉

Sources:

• Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy (2016)

• YouGov Survey (2020, 2023)

• Archives of Sexual Behavior (2021)

• Frontiers in Psychology (2022)