Tabu's Ethical Non-Monogamy Key Terms List

Welcome to Tabu, your go-to space for exploring the vibrant, complex, and sometimes misunderstood world of ethical non-monogamy. Whether you’re just curious, newly navigating these relationship dynamics, or a seasoned participant, having a shared language is key to clear communication and understanding. In this post, we’re excited to introduce you to our very own Dictionary of Ethical Non-Monogamy Key Terms—a friendly guide to the concepts and vocab that empower us to create honest, consensual, and fulfilling connections.

A Dictionary of Ethical Non-Monogamy

1. Ethical Non-Monogamy (ENM)

Definition: A broad umbrella term for relationship structures in which all parties openly consent to having multiple romantic or sexual connections.

Why It Matters: It centers on honesty, communication, and respect, ensuring that everyone involved is informed and on board.

2. Polyamory

Definition: The practice of engaging in multiple loving, romantic relationships simultaneously, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.

Key Point: Polyamory emphasizes emotional connection and commitment beyond mere physical encounters.

3. Open Relationship

Definition: A committed relationship that allows for sexual or romantic connections outside of the primary partnership, usually guided by mutually agreed-upon rules and boundaries.

Key Point: It’s not about replacing the primary relationship but expanding one’s capacity for connection.

4. Swinging

Definition: A lifestyle choice where couples consensually engage in sexual activities with other couples or individuals, typically in social or party settings.

Key Point: Swinging is generally focused on recreational and often non-romantic encounters.

5. Relationship Anarchy (RA)

Definition: An approach to relationships that rejects traditional hierarchies and labels, favoring fluidity, personal autonomy, and the dismantling of societal expectations.

Key Point: RA champions the idea that relationships can—and perhaps should—be defined by the unique agreements between the people involved, free from external pressures.

6. Solo Polyamory

Definition: A way of living that involves maintaining multiple relationships while prioritizing one’s independence and personal autonomy, often without a “primary” partner designation.

Key Point: It’s about enjoying connection without sacrificing individual freedom.

7. Hierarchical Polyamory

Definition: A relationship structure where one partnership is designated as primary—with higher commitment, time, and emotional investment—while other relationships are considered secondary or tertiary.

Key Point: Hierarchies help some people manage time and emotional resources, though they aren’t for everyone.

8. Compersion

Definition: A feeling of joy or happiness that comes from seeing one’s partner experience love or pleasure with someone else—a kind of empathetic pleasure often described as the opposite of jealousy.

Key Point: Compersion isn’t mandatory, but many find it a beautiful aspect of ethical non-monogamy.

9. Consent

Definition: The informed, enthusiastic, and ongoing agreement between all parties to engage in any form of relationship or sexual activity.

Key Point: Consent is the foundation of ethical non-monogamy—without it, there can be no healthy relationship dynamic.

10. Boundaries

Definition: The physical, emotional, and logistical limits individuals set to ensure everyone feels safe, respected, and comfortable within their relationships.

Key Point: Clear boundaries are essential to prevent misunderstandings and maintain trust.

11. Metamour

Definition: The partner of your partner—a term that helps describe the relationship between you and the other people your partner is involved with.

Key Point: While metamour relationships can vary in closeness, they’re often marked by mutual respect and sometimes even friendship.

12. Monogamish

Definition: A playful term for relationships that are primarily monogamous but allow for occasional flexibility—such as sanctioned outside encounters—with the full knowledge and consent of both partners.

Key Point: It reflects the nuance and spectrum of relationship styles that don’t fit neatly into “monogamous” or “non-monogamous” boxes.

13. Primary Partner

Definition: In a hierarchical structure, the partner who is considered the most central or committed in an individual’s life.

Key Point: The primary relationship often comes with specific agreements regarding time, financial interdependence, or long-term planning.

14. Secondary Partner

Definition: A partner in a hierarchical setup who occupies a less central role than a primary partner, with different expectations regarding time, emotional investment, and commitment.

Key Point: This designation can help manage differing needs and boundaries within complex relationship networks.

15. Negotiation

Definition: The ongoing process of discussing and agreeing upon relationship expectations, boundaries, and needs among all involved.

Key Point: Regular negotiation keeps relationships aligned with everyone’s evolving desires and circumstances.

Embracing the Vocabulary of Connection

Understanding these terms is more than just learning new words—it’s about building a framework for respectful, informed, and fulfilling relationships. Whether you identify with one of these labels or are simply exploring what ethical non-monogamy might look like for you, this dictionary is here to help demystify the language and empower you on your journey.

At Tabu, we celebrate the diversity of relationships and the endless possibilities for connection. Our goal is to provide a safe, informed space for discussion, learning, and growth. 

Remember: In ethical non-monogamy, as in life, knowledge and communication pave the way for richer, more honest relationships.

Happy exploring,

The Tabu Team